Depression after returning home
◆The blues after returning home for a short while Sorry for the terrible title. (lol) I returned to Japan for just under a month from the day after the Japan Fair until the end of July, and just got back to Bellevue the other day. The summer weather is more comfortable here. It's chilly, below 20 degrees in the morning, and rises to nearly 30 degrees in the afternoon, but it's dry. It looks like the skin of the children who had a massive heat rash in Japan will recover quickly!
I wondered if jet lag was to blame for my lack of clarity in my mind. I spent the past few days relaxing, and the day before yesterday I went for a walk with my kids to buy some ice cream for a change of mood. Yesterday I met up with a family of friends I met in America for the first time in a long time, and I'm slowly regaining my composure. When I think back to the day I first came to America last fall without any friends, I realize how happy I am.
But still, after spending time in Japan, I feel like my clear and refreshed mind is starting to feel a bit unsettled. What could this be?
◆ Increase your personal interests
I realized that the real reason for this was that I did n't have much to do with myself in my life in America , thanks to Japan Fair and my temporary return to Japan (though I'm sure there were other reasons as well). These two events were the first time in a long time that I was able to fully engage with Satonobou . I'll write about Japan Fair later, but it was the first time I've had such a wonderful time in my life in America. The sense of distance between me and the organizers was closer than at events in Paris or Yokohama, and the event was large-scale and full of content, yet homey, and the visitors showed respect for tradition, so I was really grateful that such an event existed at Bellevue. While chatting with many people at my booth, I realized that I was "lively!" and that I wanted to work a little harder in America! It was the day before and the day before that that I thought this way. (laughs) If it weren't for that, I might not have been able to return to America...
◆Overwriting the obvious It's been 11 months since I came to America, and I've had the opportunity to realize my language development, such as being able to make small talk in elevators. When I ordered hand soap and body soap from Amazon immediately after returning to America, they were packaged without regard for the use of the rules, and two of the four bottles of hand soap were empty, and I ordered a set of six boxes of dishwasher detergent, but only one box was included. Still, I've gotten used to this. Since it's a country of returns, it's very easy to return items. It's unfortunate that there are many things to worry about, such as waste of time, waste in distribution, waste of labor costs, waste of products, and negative impact on the environment, but my body and mind have learned that if I worry about it, I can't live, and this is not Japan. I feel a little relieved that this is not my first time living in America. I'm also happy that I've come this far while overcoming small obstacles.
◆Setting future goals One of the goals my husband set for himself in life was to "work in America." He achieved that goal and now we live in America. There are times when I wish he would be a little more supportive with my work, but my husband is mentally strong and doesn't seem to understand my weak feelings or anxieties at all. He just tells me, "You'll just have to work hard," and that's the end of it (laughs). Because he has that kind of mentality, he makes mistakes at work and seems to grow every day, so I respect him a lot, but I'm weak-minded and his words make me sigh (laughs).
Still, thanks to the many encounters I had at Japan Fair, I was able to set a goal for my activities in America, and thanks to the many people who ordered from me when I went back to America, I feel motivated to work hard on making kits for my temporary return next year. Having something to work towards (a goal) is good for me, and from the second year onwards, when I have a stable life base, I would like to make my Kogin time even more fulfilling and increase the amount of time I spend feeling happy! Once again, I would like to express my gratitude to everyone who is involved with me through Kogin embroidery for the joy and meaning of life I have every day. Thank you very much.
To everyone in Japan, we hope you have a great summer!
Maybe I'll hold a workshop when I come back to Japan next year?! I need to make more time to think about fun things!
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Satonobou